Here’s An Exhaustive List Of Prop Bets For Your Super Bowl Party

Wanna bet on Doritos, Gronk, and the number of people who say the NFL is rigged?
super bowl party

With Super Bowl Sunday mere days away, and based upon the fact you’re reading this on a news site dedicated to sports betting and gambling news, I am going to go out on the sturdiest of limbs and assume you have a little action down on the battle between the Kansas City Chiefs and Philadelphia Eagles.

But why stop at the game? There are tons of betting opportunities staring you right in the face at the Super Bowl party you’re headed to Sunday.

In fact, Westgate SuperBook* has posted prop odds on them. You can find them below. (*No they didn’t.)

The game

Someone will say, “See! Told you! The NFL is rigged!” after the first penalty that brings back a big play: Yes -2000, No +1000. I already hate this guy. I hate him so much.

Times I will give that guy a sideways glance and shake my head disapprovingly: Over/under set at 11.5. 

Will I respond verbally to “NFL is rigged!” guy? Yes +125, No -140.

Someone who has no concept of football will loudly complain they were one number away in their office box pool: Yes -300, No +250. “Ah, dammit! I was just one number away!” they’ll say, as the first quarter ends 7-6 and, despite what you know is about to happen, you inquire as to what numbers they had, and they respond, “7-5.”

Someone will try to explain football to another guest at the party: Off the board.

Some dude will try to explain football to a hot babe at the party: Yes, -10000, No +5000. And he will, without a question, horribly misread her kindness and patience for lust.

Number of people under the age of 25 who will explain to me why it’s not very woke to even think of the phrase “hot babe”: Over/under set at 3.5.

Number of wives in the Eastern time zone who will insist they and their family leave at halftime, citing “school” the next day, while simultaneously saying to their husbands, “I’ll drive,” while rolling their eyes: Over/under set at 2.5.

Number of people saying, “So you can bet on this?” while you furiously try to get a live bet down on the second play of the game: Over/under set at 1.5.

Number of people who say, “XFL kicks off next week.” That would be me. Odds are -infinity.

The food

Number of people who literally leave meat on the bone on their wings because they’re morons and don’t know how to properly eat a wing and thus lose the respect of everyone else at the party: Over/under set at 0.5. I mean seriously: If it ain’t bone, it’s meat. Clean it off before you take another one, you heathen.

Number of Doritos flavors available: Over/under set at 2.5, with juice on the under. This one is tricky. Cool Ranch and Nacho Cheese are givens; did the host have the foresight to also include Spicy Sweet Chili? 

Number of people who will bring spinach dip in a bread bowl: Over/under set at 1.5.

Number of people who are going to be very sad and disappointed that the other spinach dip bread bowl is gone by halftime, while the one they brought is barely half-eaten: Over/under set at 0.5, with heavy juice on the under.

Will there be a double dipper? Yes -1000, No, +900.

Number of times you’ll hear the following question, or a variation thereof: “You wanna ‘nuther one?” Over/under set at 11.5.

Amount of time the average person will spend actually watching the game: Over/under set at 12.5 minutes.

The commercials

Will someone loudly “ssssssshhhhh” the crowd during a commercial break? Yes -600, No +500.

Will Gronk make the field goal? Yes -600, No +500.

Will the Caddyshack commercials for Michelob Ultra delight? Yes -150, No +125. I have high hopes here, with Brian Cox from Succession seemingly inhabiting the Ted Knight role.

Number of people who say, “Is that someone famous?” or “Should I know who that person is?” during Jack Harlow’s Doritos commercial: Over/under set at 13.5.

Will there be a spirited discussion as to whether or not Breaking Bad is the best show ever during the PopCorners commercial? Yes -200, No +150. (The answer is “no.” It’s The Sopranos.)

Will someone be watching the Miller Lite/Coors Light DraftKings commercial like the Warren Commission watched the Zapruder film? Yes -400, No +300.

Good luck on your props!

Photo: Shutterstock


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